STEPHANIE SJAN

Everyone have a dream and they will work very hard to make their dreams come true but what if their dreams doesn't come true? This is actually still my #throwback post, let's back in 2012 when I was still young and still had a dream that someday I will be a professional model and maybe can be an international model. I still awkward in front of the camera or maybe confidently awkward even until now. I know the feeling when your dreams doesn't come true, you started to feel dissapointed especially with yourself and ending with you hate yourself and easily give up on everything you do. Everybody have their own struggle, everybody in this world are had their own battles and so do I. Am I finally success to be a professional model? No. Am I famous? No. I'm just me, myself, Stephanie and that's fine. Eventhough I couldn't be a model and too old for be a model now but suddenly my path was about turn around and I started a blog and I can be a model of my own version and my own blog. Maybe I'm not famous, I'm not a content writer nor content creator, I'm not a social media celebrity or famous blogger but one thing I know, I always started everything I do with all of my heart. You know readers, it's okay to be not okay sometimes. It's so normal when you feel wanna give up and stop everything. It's not such a laziness to take a break for a while. It's totally fine. But no matter how hard life itself takes, you still need to continue your life at least for today.

Hello guys, how are you? It's already new normal in Indonesia so some of mall, park, museum, office, and others already opened and also some of restaurant, cafe, coffee shop already allowed visitors to dine in. I hope the situation are getting better and better, we just need to changing our habit. Anyway still on #THROWBACK POST, I found an old email and there are two photos from my old photoshoot. My hair still short tho!

Still on my throwback post when I was still active as a model. Staying at home made me looking on my old photos in my folder and wanted to share in my blog. You know since this pandemic, I still staying at home and too lazy to dressed up and make an outfit post and beside that I haven't any new clothes to share with you mostly all of my clothes you're already seen at my old blog post.

So yeah.. back to #throwback post, that was taken when I was worked at fashion boutique company and that was about couple weeks before I resigned from them. I love this photoshoot and finally I have a photos that have my face because mostly all photos they crop the face. In this photos look so clean, minimalist, and simple in white.

It's already 1:32AM at Jakarta - Indonesia and I can't sleep maybe because I got insomnia since a long time so that's why I'm more active at middle night than morning or afternoon. It makes me realize that I'm a night person and mostly some ideas and inspiration comes at night. Tonight, I remember I have an old email from my previous fashion boutique that I ever worked with in 2015 and there are some of my portfolio in that email. I'd never post it before so tonight I want to share with you guys in a #THROWBACK post.

Actually I worked as a fashion model since I was 17 years old and I did my walk on runway in a small event until I end up working at the local fashion boutique. I'm not a professional model but I'd loved to do modeling, before I did my modeling career, I also take a short course for modeling and I learned how to walk like a model, pose, acting, and so on. But since I gave up with my modeling so maybe today I forget a little about that lesson and I'm so awkward in front of the camera. Honestly, when I worked at this fashion boutique company in 2015, I'm not grew enough and I couldn't learned so much, all I did was a same pose over and over again and I couldn't explore anything until I resign from that company. Here's some old portfolio and old me back in 2015.

Honestly I kinda miss modeling. I miss walk on the runway, I miss wore designer clothes, shoes, accessories, I miss met new people that work at the same industry, I miss backstage situation, I miss dressed up by professional, I miss the experience than the salary, I miss photoshoot too. Maybe if there's photographer read this, if you come to Jakarta - Indonesia and need model for fashion model you can contact me and with pleasure I will help you. I need to learn again and explore my skill again.

Hi guys! How's your life so far? Stay clean, stay sane, and stay healthy. I just look my blogger audience from pageview by country and I'm so thankful. There's new visitors that never been visted my blog before. Greetings from Indonesia and thank you so much for your kind support. I know my blog wasn't perfect like others but since the beginning I started, I made my blog like my virtual diary so I post mostly just random content and my ups and downs. This is the visitors from A DAY (10 June 2020 - 11 June 2020) not weekly or monthly visitors.

While I had sunbathing 2 weeks ago, I heard a podcast from Ps. Steven Furtick from Elevation Church. I just randomly found their podcast and then I started to subscribed. On that day I heard a podcast with title A Lesson In Letting Go and I felt so blessed with their podcast. I wrote on my notes the points and wanted to share with you guys here through my blog. I hope it will blessed you either you believe in God or not.

🕊 Before God gives us a new blessing, He wants to give us a new baseline.
🕊 It's not how much weight you were lifting, it's how hard you were gripping it.
🕊 You could lift a lot more if you were losing your grip. If you hold it differently, you can handle it.
       You can get there if you let go. Let go and let God.
🕊 Your "new normal" in this season is not whether God changes your heart but whether you change
       your habits.
🕊 You can't receive what is now when you hold to what is old.

So when it's all over, what's your plan? For me, I definitely want go to the mall, eat some street food, go to the museum and other places, go to cinema, meet some close friends, go to the church and we can shake hands like we used to do it, also I make promise to my self and my boyfriend to jogging once a week in every Saturday (hopefully I can make it), and I wish I can get some sponsors for my blog so I can make my ootd post more often and new collaborate with (a little bit) highest prices than before. I hope everything will get better and normal really soon :)

 

Hello guys! How are you? How's your life during self quarantine? I wish you guys in healthy condition and keep sane. No kidding, maybe others are in physically healthy but not with their mental health especially during "stay at home". Like me, I'm not good in my mental, I got stressed lately during self quarantine at home, I wanna go out, eat some street food, meet some of my friends, but yeah this is our "new normal" right? Wearing mask, hand sanitizer, washing hands more often than before.

2 weeks ago, my boyfriend suggest me to continue my blog during this quarantine so we decided to took some outfit photos during stay at home. I wish I can wear my outfit for hang out or go somewhere but for now I just took photos, changing the outfit, and repeat. Just do whatever to keep me sane in the middle of global pandemic.